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Betere leesbaarheid

Juicy

door killea

Hours of work in the orchard,
happily tired they sat on the porch
luxuriating in pensive silence,
a country girl, not his usual type,
he longingly watched her
setting sun bathed her profile in gold
she was all delicious curves
round, smooth and radiant,
elbows resting on the table
she held a pear with both hands
and bit into the ripe fruit,
then turning to look at him
she laughed as droplets of juice
slid down her chin,
precisely at that moment
he felt a current of love
surging through his being,
it was all he could do not to cry...

 

feedback van andere lezers

  • lief
    the last sentence needs a comma:

    'And it was all he could do, not to cry'

    exiting story, I miss a little rhyme!

    liefs
    killea: Hi Lief - no rhyme this time. Thanks for your attention.

    liefs
  • dichtduvel
    a current/torrent of love, this is what we all we need, grtz, j
    killea: Thank you for reading my poetry.
  • Francis
    Sent the wrong one to the chupacabra
    this is the right one
    http://nl.youtube.com/watch?v=jYZoBT1AFv0

    about his 'star'
    xx

    killea: I thought as much, thanks
    xx
    j
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