Volg ons op facebook
|
< terug
Heaven
sun sea mellow wine
cool water on sweaty skin
a lingering kiss
feedback van andere lezers- lief
a place to beach!
xxx
liefs
killea: Lief, I live in a village right next to the beach and it is glorious in any season. Sometimes one gets complacent about it, but near the sea is where I need to be.
love
June - alie_jankind
liefdevol, charmant ...
bij een haiku verwacht ik meer natuur
een senryu is meer algemeen en heeft dezelfde samenstelling
5 - 7 - 5 lettergrepen
groeten
killea: Alie, it is all nature...
thank you for FB
xx
j - yellow
Hi J.
these are amazing words but honestly I have to say that's Alie is right, it's forbidden(mayby I take the wrong word)to use human things in a haiku.
You know it's not meant to puyt you down?
Take it in this way, in this style you used the wrong word
in this more then beautifull poem.
sweets,
Marc
(I hope you don't take this wrong, you know I like your poems very much)
killea: Love constructive criticism, and have corrected it.
Lost a good mate today
he'd been with me for a while
and as the stranger took him away
I tried not to cry
the music is completely still
no more nightly chats
confused and over the hill
he left and didn't look back
I couldn't help him though I tried
he was rude, and nasty in the end
and before he exploded and almost died
decided to let him go
he had truly served me well
I miss him so, but he'll never know
adieu my darling Dell,
he'll be replaced in a couple of days
Welcome Packard Bell
xx
j - jan
superb
xxx
j
killea: Thank you, darling
xx
j - Mistaker
Summer, sea, love...a beautiful combination!
Greta x
killea: Thanks for FB Greta
xx
j - Ghislaine
Sea? Now, no thanks to cold for my.
killea: Yeah! it is a bit cold now, but that too shall pass. Thanks Ghislaine'
xxx j - DeKoeneRidder
Wonderfull...You make my imagination go crazy ;0)
Love and a lingering X
Your BH
killea: Thank you BH
xx
j - marrik
Jesus, all tis for a new pc?Hope you miss me the same as this when i'm gone.
XX
M
killea: Why, where are you going?
I you too! - jack
Regeltjes, regeltjes, bah. Het is mooi. Een prachtig sfeerbeeld, basta! ;)
killea: Thank you Jack, appreciate your FB
xx
j - lucky
zingt simple red daar niet over ...
killea: Don't know, thanks for FB
xx
j - otiske
a place on earth.
great this.
Greetz
killea: Thank you Otiske,
xx
j - klaver4
Heaven and Haven indeed ! That fucking hellhound is biting my ass again!
You forgot the palm trees ! And the sound of the swaying sea!
xx
dicky
killea: Thanks Dicky, the rest goes without saying.
xxx
j
|
