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Betere leesbaarheid

The Burning Ceremony

door killea

What could I write to make you understand
that things are not what they seem to you
what your self-righteousness will demand
in the haze of continuous white
you think you play in the band

Tomorrow will be a day of ceremony
to take back what was mine
and I'm not talking about Doby or money
it's the internal destruction will be renewed
but I guess you'll think it's terribly funny…

The burning ceremony will take place
pretty late in the cold afternoon
when all the hatred and sheer disgrace
will be sent away, out of my being
to divine intelligence, away from my space

You will feel it, of that there is no qualm
you will hear and feel the vibrations like an enormous shout
or softly like a summer breeze it will feel like a balm
perhaps it will touch your innermost good
and sing to you like a psalm

or maybe not.....

 

feedback van andere lezers

  • jan
    beautiful June, in the haze of continuous white
    you think you play in the band, why not,
    (my english is not as good as yours so maybe it will not fit in the poem))
    in the haze of continuous white
    you think you can make a stand or someting...

    xxx
    j

    killea: Will keep it in mind, Jan, thanks for great fb
    xxxx
    j
  • yellow
    wauw killea, dit gedicht stuurt zoveel door me heen,
    ik zie kaarsen, begrafenissen,
    echt dit is bijzonder sterk geschreven, ik vind
    het echt wel knap, hier heb je lang over nagedacht denk ik,

    bewondering killea,
    echt prachtig!!!

    Marc

    killea: Thank you, love

    xx
    j
  • jamal
    naar mijn gevoel is die 'ceremonie' een metafoor voor iets (iemand) waarbij je lange tijd iets verborgen hield, of beter gezegd, niet uitgesproken kreeg.....totdat je de kracht vond.

    hier zit heel veel pit in! mooi omschreven

    xx
    killea: Thank you Jamal, you have such understanding for my writing.
    xxx
    j
  • lief
    like a psalm..

    strong words!
    xx
    liefs
    killea: Thank you, Liefie
    xxx
    love
    June
  • eisenik
    I always wonder if you are a native speaker, you have a rather extended vocabulary but it never feels like you are 'at one' with the English idioms... weird =)


    killea: Really? As a native speaker I find that rather weird too!
    thanks for FB
    xx
    j
  • marrik
    Een waar gedicht met een verhaal.
    Bijzonder.

    XX
    M
    killea: Hi M, thanks for FB
    Still in M'burg back tomorrow see you Friday
    xx
    j
  • bragt
    if it was that simple: burning all the 'bad' feelings out of my being.
    Fortunately the poem - really a poem - gives a good and strong feeling
    killea: Thank you so much bragt
    xx
    j
  • Mistaker
    Beautiful poem, I like this richness of language.

    Regards,
    Greta
    killea: Thank you, Greta appreciate your feed back
    xxx
    j
  • b_engel
    zeer sterk met heel wat inhoud
    je lijkt in zeker zin af te rekenen met iets (iemand)
    knap neergezet, sterk verwoord
    killea: Thank you b engel
    xxx
    j
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